You guys crack me up! Everyone has been asking me if my Momma has gone crazy yet being this close to picking me up. I think it’s ok for you all to go a little crazy:) Today I was very grateful for all of your emails and the pictures! Especially from Keg and Taylor Walker! Thanks guys!
But I’m excited to see you all. I was wondering if you could come say hi and spend a week here and then leave me? Think that would work? Just an idea:) I feel like the closer it gets, the more attached to my mission I become. It’s been so good this past week, we have been so busy that I haven't even had time to think about it. This week we had a mission wide leadership training and it was AWESOME!! It definitely kept our hands full!
I’ve been thinking about it a lot and I know a lot of missionaries fear and avoid the end, but I’m excited! I think if you have done everything you could, you should be able to go home happy and fulfilled and able to hit the next stage of life just as hard as you hit the mission. It’s gonna be the test of EVERYTHING that I learned on my mission. I say, “Bring it on!” It doesn't however make leaving any easier. It will break my heart to leave this place. But I've come to learn that it’s not always about what Elder Smith wants. It took 21 years to learn that;) I have seen the importance of working up until the last minute. There’s no getting around it, I think you definitely see your true colors in the last few weeks.
But, I actually wanted to share one of the most special experiences of my mission with you all today. It starts back in Laredo when one of my district leaders invited me to set a mission baptismal goal; the number of people I wanted to find, teach, and baptize on my mission. He then told me, “It’s not about the number, but it’s about being accountable to the Lord and showing him how many people you want to bring unto Christ.” Of course I wanted to bring thousands unto my Savior! That’s why I came! So I set a goal that was rather high. I prayed to my Father in Heaven pleading with him to guide me to that many specific people that I could love with all my heart and bring them to the knowledge of the Gospel.
The first few months was rough. We didn't find or baptize hardly anyone. I was rather discouraged and quickly put that goal and commitment with the Lord out of my mind. But, as I went through my mission, the success started to come. I began to find people that stole my heart. I loved them SO MUCH! And every time we found them and were able to baptize them I felt the love of my Heavenly Father letting me know that they were some of the ones that he had promised me. Some of the ones that were waiting. That feeling fired me up a lot. I quickly repented of forgetting that commitment I had made with Him and promised I would do EVERYTHING in my power to reach that goal, that I wouldn't miss a single soul that He had prepared for me. There was a lot of ground to make up, but He definitely began to bless me.
The months passed and I came closer and closer, until this last month. I was ONE short of my goal and ALL of our baptisms had dropped. I felt an uncomfortable weight on my shoulders, feeling that I hadn't given everything or maybe I had missed one of His children along the way. I spent many nights crying unto Him, asking for forgiveness and praying for a miracle. With 3 weeks left......nothing. Too short of time to find someone and get all the way through the teaching process. It seemed almost hopeless. I couldn't help but feel that if I went home one short, I would feel like it wasn't quite finished.
Then 6 days ago we decided to give it to the Lord. Elder Stott and I started a special fast for that one person who would finish my mission. We fasted that day and nothing came until the last 5 minutes of our fast. As we stood in line to buy some fruit to break our fast the phone rang, it was Bishop Vargas. "Elder, I just wanted to call and tell you that a new family moved into your area 10 minutes ago and they need some help moving in. Could you come?" ABSOLUTELY! "Oh and just so you know, the mom isn't a member yet."
My heart filled with hope! This was gonna be it!!! We got in the car and flew over to their house to meet the Medina family. The sweetest, most humble family ever. Within 20 minutes we had set a baptismal date for the 24th, one day after I leave. So grateful for the answered fast, but still sad about the goal I set with the Lord, I continued to pray, harder and HARDER. I guess you could say it was selfish of me, but it meant SO MUCH!
I have a testimony that God answered prayers. I have seen it so many times. I know how much He loves us and that He won’t EVER let us down. I really needed a miracle and even though it was a selfish thing, He knew how much I wanted it. Never doubt that he listens.
The second lesson we had a FHE with the bishop and discovered that Sister Medina knew nearly everything and had been to church before in Mexico! In the last 5 minutes, the bishop invited her to be baptized on Sunday - TOMORROW! I must have looked ridiculous cus tears were streaming down my face. She agreed to this Sunday, and she is completely ready! Finding her, teaching her, and getting to the baptism in less than 2 weeks! It was a miracle!
I Love my Heavenly Father so much. He has changed me completely. I never deserved such an incredible mission, but He gave it to me anyway. I feel SO indebted to Him but know that He's expecting a lot of me for the rest of my life. He expects a lot of us:) I know that after the baptism of Sister Medina, I will feel that love just as I always have. That love that He has for these people, His children. It’s more contagious that any feeling that you could ever feel.
I love you all so much and hope you all know that I KNOW that He lives, loves us, and always hears us.
I look forward to seeing you all soon.
Love, Elder Payton Smith
